Weight - 226.8lbs
Circadian Rhythm Reset Day 19
Nutrition Totals - None
Wake - 6:30am
Breakfast - Lunch - 3c. Decaff Coffee, black, unsweetened
This is a fasting Friday due to religious reasons.
Dinner (6pm) - Pork Rind Cheese Nachos (1serving Pork Rinds, 2-1/2oz Cheddar, 1/4c Pico de Gallo (homemade), 1/4 avocado)
2 LC SF Tortillas with Scrambled Eggs, Cheese, Pico de Gallo and Avocado (2 Eggs, 1 oz Cheddar, 1/4 Avocado, 1/4c Pico, 1/2 Tbsp Butter)
Bed (11:15pm)
Notes: Still a tough day for me emotionally. I feel very overwhelmed with the decision and with all that's happened over the last year. Still dealing with the grief and stress of having a late stage breast cancer. It's changed and defined me so much and I swore I would never be that girl - defined by a disease. :( Have to just work on my emotional state.
Wanted and craved a martini so badly. I just wanted to have a normal dinner with drinks without having to weigh every decision I make based on is it good for my body and will it increase the chance of the cancer coming back? I just feel so over-vigilant sometimes I want to scream. Then I have to just shake myself and tell myself to get real. I'm cancer free today as far as we know, so how dare I wine about my "lot". I could be like so many of my friends and be dealing with a recurrence today and Stage IV disease.
I totally made a bone headed dinner choice. I keep a meat free, fasting Friday as part of my religious beliefs. And I ate pork rinds! *snort*. In my mind, I wasn't eating red blooded "meat". So it was fine. Then I sat down and was half way through the pork rind nachos and said, "Oh crap! What have I done!?) LOL. Oh well, I'm pretty sure God didn't lose any sleep over it. But I still felt bad about it.
